Back to work!

In honor of my last day of being unemployed today, I headed to the gym and got in a nice run. Then I went grocery shopping. Yes, yes. It's a glamorous life I lead.

Now that I will be working again, I will have to get used to scheduling gym time within my limited free hours, yet still spending enough time with my kids. That inevitably means gym visits in the early morning, or  to at night after the kids are in bed. I've done it before though, and I can do it again. It takes more planning and prioritizing (should I stay home and clean after the kids go to bed, or should I go to the gym? Is my homework needing to be done, or can I adjust that and fit in a visit to the gym?). But I will be successful, damnit! I have to be.

Also, with my new employed-once-again status, I will most likely not be posting quite as often as I have been for the last couple of months. Not to fear - I will still do my best to post regularly. I have the blogger app on my phone, so if anything I can always do it that way if I ever get the urge, or a brilliant idea, or burning vent that I need to get out. Or you know, a spectacularly hilarious thought that I'd like to share.

So don't go anywhere. I'm starting a new chapter (again) and hopefully, along with it, will come continued success in my weight loss/fitness/health journey!

My inner fatty loves pie.

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I started out on the right foot by going for a 4.6 mile run on Thanksgiving morning, but it was all downhill from there...I ate too much and the quality was lacking. I didn't work out.
BIG FAT FAIL on my part!

And so yes, I gained. I am 3 lbs up from what I was last Monday. I was so NOT excited to see the scale today, but then again it's my own fault. I took a few minutes to be ticked off, sad, and disappointed. Then decided that it's just more motivation to get back on track this week.

I know that most of that is just water weight (bloating). Once I am eating like a human instead of an animal, some of that will automatically be taken care of. Working out (Zumba tonight, a nice run tomorrow) should help, as well. I will be back down by the end of the week, but the challenge will be trying to have a good weekend. I purposely let myself slack off on the weekends sometimes, because it's one way to keep myself sane during the week. But this weekend I need to work hard to stay on the wagon - sort of get back into a good solid routine after derailing so badly over Thanksgiving.

Last November-December, I gained 10-15 lbs. I got it back off (and then some), but I would rather not let that happen again. Time to kick my own ass!!!!!

How was your Thanksgiving?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

One of the many challenges with losing weight, is that every person and situation is different. Even for one single person, situations and moods change - and you have to be willing to be flexible and make changes in your routine as needed, in order to grow with your environment or battle the current hurdles you face.

When I first started my journey, I was working a ton of overtime. Generally my work weeks were about 60-70 hours. Plus of course, I also have 2 young kids as well as a husband who also worked extra hours in addition to the regular 40. Making time and prioritizing were not easy, but I figured it out.

Then things changed. The overtime died down. But I started Grad School. This kept me busy too, but at different times and in different ways. That affected the approach I took and the routine I had.

Then things changed again (imagine that). We moved because my husband had a job offer he could not refuse, for what was basically his dream job. I quit my old job and stayed home with my younger daughter (the older is in Kindergarten) while I looked for something new. Being a stay at home mom brought with it altogether new challenges. While I now had time for working out like never before, I also now had constant access to all the food in the house.

Through it all, I've been able to adjust, and that is part of why I feel I've been successful. Even when it took a few weeks, I was able to adjust and continue down the path to success. I know there are people who thought, oh of course you lost weight, you worked 70 hours a week and never had time to EAT! Or, of course your losing weight, you go to the gym 5 days a week because you are a stay at home mom. Well, yes. But that is not the only thing there is to it, and throughout all these various life circumstances I have shown that I can do it. I will do what it takes to make it work, even when it's not easy - which it almost NEVER is!

And now, I am about to embark on yet another big change - I officially have a new job! I start next Wednesday. So now, I am going from stay at home mom, back to working mom. And I've been a working mom before, but that was a very different place and a different environment - this will be an all new environment and culture to get used to. My old work had 1000 people in my building, and the company employs 90,000 people. A big company, right?  My new company is small. Not "tiny", but the numbers are in the 100's instead of 1000's, and most of them are not in the office I will be in. This "small office" thing will be totally new to me. No more onsite Cafe' with great healthy choices available. So, I am going to have to adjust all over again, to a new environment, culture and situation - and figure out how to adjust so that I can continue to be successful in my weight loss/maintenance.

Thankfulness

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I figured I should do a "Thankful" blog post.

Of course, I am thankful for typical things...my kids, my husband, my other family, my friends, my pets. This year, I am thankful for the amazing job opportunity which presented itself to my husband. It has been one of the top 3 best decisions of our lives. He loves his job, we love our new city, our kids are happy. Our future as a family is very bright. I am in Grad School with some amazing future possibilities. Yes, I am thankful for all of this - I am truly blessed.

But being that this blog is about my weight loss and fitness journey, what I really want to talk about is all of the things I am thankful for related to that. Two years ago at this time, I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22. I had no confidence. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, and I was always exhausted. I breathed hard just going up the stairs in my own home. I hated to have my picture taken, even with my kids. Shopping sounded like torture...not only because of the limited cute stuff in my size, but because no matter how well something fit and how cute it looked on the rack, I still felt like crap once I had it on. Not to mention trying on clothing was tiring. Seriously - trying on a few outfits in a fitting room felt like a marathon. Who wants to feel exhausted, just for trying on some clothing that isn't what you love and doesn't make you feel good anyhow? It was depressing.

Now - I weigh 146 (that was this morning's weigh-in) and I wear a size 8. Best of all, I feel healthy and fit.
And I am thankful for countless things...some shallow, some not.

I am thankful for my health - Yes...most people who have their health, are thankful for it...but it means something even more to me. I was on a destructive path that could only have ended in various negative health effects. But no more!
I am thankful for my body and all the amazing things it can do. Things I never knew or thought it could do, like running 13 miles without stopping.
I am thankful for running
I am thankful to know I can be a positive role model for my children
I am thankful for being viewed as an "inspiration" to others
I am thankful to not feel exhausted all the time
I am thankful for being a size 8 and being able to wear a MEDIUM in many cases.
I am thankful for feeling confident - I have done/am doing countless things that I never would have done before, such as going to Grad School, organizing a virtual 5k in collaboration with a local Zoo, leading running groups, and trying Zumba.
I am thankful for being comfortable being in pictures now, especially pictures with my kids.
I am thankful for people who are brave enough to talk to me about my experience, tell me "great job", or ask questions. I am not shy about this. I want to share so I can help others.
I am thankful for being able to shock the hell out of people when they haven't seen me or heard anything of me in years. "Holy crap, since when was she NOT overweight/obese? Say what, she has run half marathons? That can't be the same person I remember..." I am especially thankful for this when the person was somebody who was ever less-than-nice to me. That sounds bad but I don't care. It's kind of like a nice big EFF YOU to those people.
I am thankful that I was able to find the courage and motivation and determination to start my journey
I am thankful that I have been able to keep it up over a long period of time
I am thankful for the support and positive encouragement I have received from my friends and family throughout my journey.
I am thankful for my husband and his positive influence, support, encouragement and love. I am not sure I could have been as successful without him.

Wow. I could go on and on with the things I am thankful for. I am honestly bursting with thankfulness this Thanksgiving. You could probably see it coming out of my ears. My life has changed so completely, in so many ways... I still sometimes can't wrap my head around it. I sound like such a sap...sorry.

What health-related things are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? No matter where you are in your journey, I know there is something. Maybe you are just starting your journey, but yesterday you parked at the far end of the parking lot yesterday and successfully made the long trek inside. Even THAT is something to be thankful for!

So what are you thankful for? Ready, set, GO!

My inner fatty craves....cheerios?

My inner fatty strikes again!

Yesterday I had a small lapse, and ended up eating several bowls of Honey-Nut Cheerious. Of all things I could binge on, I chose Cheerios? Seriously? But they were there, and I was craving some carbs. And I am a sucker for cereal. It was like I couldn't stop. I was hungry, damnit!

Only a fatty or former fatty can take a seemingly harmless food and make it into pig-out central.

So I figure I ate 500-600 calories in cereal alone. Yeaaaa, I might even be under-estimating. Luckily for me, it was getting close to lunch time, so I just chalked it up to a strange, early lunch. Then I worked out extra hard at the gym that afternoon. I actually ended up in a decent range for calories for the day when all was said and done. I actually had a good weigh in this morning. Which is great, but it's not really the point.

The point is - it's just another example of how I will be fighting this fight, probably for the rest of my life. I've lost 85lbs (ok, 82, but soon to be back to 85) and changed my life. I know what I need to do and what works for me. I'm happy with my method of madness. Yet still - given the right timing and circumstances, I can easily find myself powerless to resist temptation, even in the form of boring ol' cereal!

What is one strange or not-so-typical item that you have found yourself binging on?

Diet

 So many people ask "What diet did you do? How did you lose the weight?"

I didn't "put myself on a diet". I changed my lifestyle. Putting yourself on a diet implies a plan with an end. You can't "diet" forever, and once the diet is over, even if you did see some success... you will inevitably gain your weight back (and often times even more).

That is why I hate the word "diet". It should be associated with what you eat in general... Instead, it is associated with a temporary change with limitations and rules. It's ridiculous! I'm not speaking out of my ass, either - I've done "diets" in the past. I lost nearly 40 lbs by doing a slightly modified version of Atkins before my wedding in 2004, going from 210 to 172. And I will admit - I felt great. It was wonderful. The problem was, it was impossible to maintain. Even the "maintenance" phase was just not realistic for me in the long term. Plus, my whole journey was centered around losing weight for my wedding, and there was no focus on simply getting healthy. So of course it was temporary. I gained 30 lbs back over the next couple of years. Then I got pregnant and gained another 60! Obviously, that "diet" was successful in the short term...but certainly not for the long term, which is what really matters. I am not saying that absolutely nobody will have or has had success with diets including Atkins. I know there are success stories...but they are not as common as the marketers of the diets would have you believe.

How helpful is it to say "I cannot eat carbs ever again!" Or "Chocolate is off-limits for the next 3 months while I get ready for bikini season!". No! It doesn't have to be that way! Just make overall healthier choices. You can even have a little chocolate - just learn to not go overboard. Be active. Eat a balanced diet and pay attention to portion sizes, especially when you are indulging a little.

Don't put yourself on a diet. Put yourself on a mission to learn about food and make overall good choices that you can maintain for the rest of your life!

I love the saying "Eat to live, don't live to eat". For me, I think changing that mindset has been a huge challenge. It still is. It might always be (thanks to that pesky inner fatty that I've discussed before). But it is so important. You want to eat foods that are healthy and will fuel your body to be the best it can be (and I'm not just talking physically!).

Screw the diets. This can't be a temporary fix or change. It has to be permanent! It has to be about your whole lifestyle. And you CAN do it.

Against the odds - when you lack a support system

Here is a requested post topic.... making it work even when those around you are not completely supportive.

Losing weight is hard. It takes a lot of hard work, motivation, dedication, patience...yeah...it's not just hard. It is CRAZY HARD! I mean, the basic premise is simple. Eat right, exercise. Bam! But that is easier said than done, and the people surrounding you can make or break your spirit when it comes to your journey.

Whether it's a friend, a family member, or a spouse - the way people react to your journey and what they are willing to do (or not do) to help you along the way is very important. Unfortunately, some friends are not understanding. Sometimes, spouses are not willing to make any changes themselves to support you in yours. And you can't change what other people do, only they can. Instead, you are going to have to change how you choose to react to their lack of support.

There are a ton of situations and circumstances where a friend/family member might show a lack of support or confidence in you, and I could blog for hours going over a fraction of them. But really. What it comes down to is that you have to accept that X person is not going to make it easier for you, but you will continue on anyhow. You have to make the choice to ignore them or prove them wrong. Accept that it will be harder than it would be if X person wasn't doing X, or would just start doing X...but know that succeeding anyhow will make reaching your goal, that much sweeter.

Losing weight is about NOT GIVING UP. If you are truly ready and wanting to get healthy, you need to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary. Everyone's struggles are different, and for some people, one of those struggles is bound to be a lack of support. Just think of it as any other roadblock that you need to overcome in your journey, and remain positive that you CAN overcome it! It is all about the outlook you choose to keep. Nobody can make you feel a certain way. You have the power to react the way you want to react.

One last thing - if you find that you have little to no support in your personal or day to day life, you can at least seek support online. There are thousands of online support websites, blogs (like this one), Facebook groups and pages - seek out ones that speak to you and start interacting and following. Let THAT be your support system. It's not as ideal as real-life support, but it certainly can be incredibly helpful.