Back this truck UP

Ok so here is the deal. I need to do something before I end up where I started. My husband, my sister in law and her husband all have various amounts of weight we would like to lose. We've all gained 10+ lbs recently. We decided to do a weight loss challenge based on % lost. The winner gets to choose a place for dinner and the losing couple pays. Really I don't think any of us care about that, but it will be nice to be doing this "with" other people. We created a Google Doc to log our weights every Monday. We are going through to December 31st.

Today being Monday, meant first weigh in. My starting weight for this challenge? 152.3.
GRRRRRRRRR. That is almost a full 10 lbs up since my lowest weight. I actually weighed 142.6 once, if I remember right. WTF?! My life has changed so completely but I guess I was hoping I would be able to hang in there without gaining too much. Oh well - nothing I can do about it now besides resolve to get it back off.

Once again, another glaring reminder that no matter how much I've changed my habits and life..the old habits are lurking in the background, just waiting to sneak in there. It is going to be a life long battle. And will likely get harder, the older I get. But when I think back on how far I've come, I want to cry. I started out obese. Size 22. Zero confidence. Exhausted. Breathing heavily after going from upstairs to downstairs in my own house. Just plain unhealthy. Now, even though I've backtracked a slight bit over the last several weeks during this crazy transition my family has made...I am still on another planet, health-wise. I have energy. I am happy with myself. I feel good. I feel healthy! Now I just need to pick back up and finish out this phase of my journey...and officially enter into the life long maintenance phase.

Yep. I've gotta lose this damn weight. Damnit.

Today: Eating healthier meals and snacks, going for a walk, going to the gym for a run and elliptical, and trying out Zumba for the first time with my sister in law.

GAME ON! It's me against this weight. I am going to win.

What is up with me?!

Love this. So very true, with regards to both losing weight and running, for example doing a half marathon. It's SO hard. But SO amazing.

Being a stay at home mom for the moment has been a huge challenge where my eating habits are concerned. I have NO willpower!! It's like offering a bottle of vodka to an alcoholic. That sort of seems like maybe it was meant to be funny, but I'm serious. It's absolutely an addiction, and one that is much harder to manage now that I am surrounded by the food in my fridge and cupboards all day long. At least at work, I brought what I brought, and that's what I had. The cafe' and certain items such as pita chips and tiger brownies were always a battle, but at least those I could say no to because I didn't want to be spending the money on them every single day. And I had coworkers who knew about my weight loss journey, and I hate to be a "failure" (in my eyes that is) by eating junk. But you know...damn...those tiger brownies were pretty freaking awesome...

So anyhow. There I was this morning. I already had a cup of coffee, an apple, eggs and a piece of toast. Yet I found myself staring into the fridge and cupboards. Why?! What is it that I want? I'm craving carbs, I can feel it. Sugary or salty, junky goodness. That, and I'm kind of bored, so automatically my brain apparently goes to food. Crappy food, at that. Why can't I crave something like carrots or salad? Hell, if we're going into the "Why can't I" game...Why can't I just have naturally amazing metabolism and a naturally great body?! Is that so much to ask for? Ha....Yes, I know the answer. I'm just being whiney.

I'm getting off track. Back to the story.

Instead of giving in and eating more, I hopped on the computer and started writing this post. I suppose that could be one benefit of being home - when I have these tough times, I can come write about it and hopefully get distracted and let the craving pass.

I really want to get back on track though. I'm back to exercising regularly (went a couple times last week and three times this week already), and I don't want to mess that hard work up with some pointless calories eaten out of boredom. I have so much I could be doing but my daughter makes it hard...she is pretty clingy and demanding of my time. I have homework and a job search to be working on, but normally when I'm on the computer, she insists on sitting on my lap and if I won't let her, its a big fit. Either way, I can't get anything done.  It's honestly a miracle that she is letting me type this now.

HA! I spoke too soon. *Heads off to see what all the fuss is about*

Helloooo out there? A reader reach-out.

The number of readers here is continuing to increase, at least based on my blog stats... This is great, because I truly feel happy that I may possibly inspire or help somebody else in some way with my story. (That being said - feel free to share, recommend to others, or ask me about exchanging links if you have a health/fitness/weight loss related blog). Also note that you can "like" Enough of the Fluff on Facebook as well!

Anyhow...I would LOVE to know a little about some of you. People rarely comment - let's change this!!

Are there any regular (or not)  readers who wouldn't mind sharing their own story or just saying a little something? Let me know you are out there. Tell me who you are. Why you read my blog. What additional things you'd like to see on my blog. What your struggles are. Your favorite color. I don't care - just say something so I know I'm not talking to myself!

Marathon

I was watching this show about marathons the other day. I kept crying. Because I want to do one! Just imagining how amazing, challenging, emotional it is. The extreme hard work and tons of time you put into training for this one day, ending in crossing that finish line and knowing you did something incredible! Then for me, add on top of that, I used to be 227 lbs. Heck, when I was 9 months pregnant with my first daughter, I probably weighed 260 (I just don't really count that since it was pregnancy weight). I used to be fat, have no energy, and no confidence. Now...I run half marathons. I know I will do a full some day.

Now is not the right time - I am in grad school for another couple of years, and I need time to concentrate on that because I have lots of homework and studying hours ahead of me. But when I'm out of grad school and settled into my career...You better believe I WILL run a full marathon. Most likely Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, MN. Even though it's at least a few years away, I can't wait :-)

Doctor visit & weight update

I established myself with a new primary care physician and with that meant - a weigh in. I was dreading it...I haven't weighed myself in several weeks. Things have been crazy. My life has been turned upside down with all this moving and related junk. So I was relieved to find I have only gained about 5 lbs. At the doc, I weighed 150 on the nose...my low was 143. However I keep track of weights taken right away in the morning and with no clothes on, so really it's probably about a 5 lb difference. I am not thrilled, but satisfied with that. Thankful that it isn't way more. And now - determined to get it back off and then some. The last of it. It's time to finish the weight loss journey once and for all, and start what will probably be the hardest part of all - a lifetime of maintenance. Yes, I have changed my lifestyle. However those old habits so easily creep back up on me. I am battling them even now. The urge to just sit on my butt and veg out all day? Still there. Wanting to buy and eat a package of cookies or a box of cereal? Yep. That urge is still there too. My lifestyle has changed, and I love it, but the old habits are still hiding deep down inside me - I need to make sure I don't ever give in and let them take over again. I realize I might make mistakes (and I have been making a lot of mistakes lately), and that is okay. It's the overall progress that matters, not one bad meal or day or even week.

I have joined a gym and plan to go at least 3 times a week. I am going to get some new running shoes (sorely needed - literally. My knees and leg KILL after I try to run even a mile, and it's because I need new shoes) and start training properly for my half marathon next month. And the hardest of all....I need to pay more attention to my eating habits again. It is a whole new ball game when you are at home as opposed to working with a regular, solid schedule. I am looking for a job, but until I find something, I need to work with the circumstances I have.

One other thing that came up at my doctor appointment was fainting. I cannot recall if I've mentioned it on the blog or not, but in the last few months I have had 2 fainting episodes. One was late at night, while out for a drink. Earlier in the evening I had went on a short walk/run, but it was over 90 degrees and humid out. The other time was about an hour or 1.5 hours after finishing my last half marathon (the Women Rock). My husband said that I needed to ask a doctor about it before he would "let" me run my next race. The doctor was not concerned, and said given the circumstances it is most likely not a sign of any heart problems...rather a common issue with runners, hypoglycemia. Basically I need to be mindful of getting proper nutrition before, during and after races - especially longer or more physically challenging ones). That was his guess as to what happened but obviously wants me to monitor it and let him know if anything else goes on. 

A-B-C

I always post about my health and fitness journey, but rarely post much about myself. Being that I actually have some followers...strangers, even...I figure I would do one of those ridiculous survey things that used to spread around e-mail like wildfire back when I was a teenager. Thanks to Ericka, who I stole this from :-)

A. Age: 30

B. Bed size: Queen for now...but in a year when we are buying a house (assuming our old house sells! It's going on the market this week as a matter of fact!), I refuse to move in without a King.

C. Chore that you hate: Putting away laundry

D. Dogs: I don't have dogs. I love them, but it wouldn't be fair to the dog to have one given our lifestyle. We have 3 cats instead.

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee...My Keurig is probably one of the best Christmas presents I ever got!

F. Favorite color:pink & black together, purple.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver

H. Height: 5 feet, 5.5 inches

I. Instruments you play: Trumpet, I was very good in high school...lead chair even ahead of some boys who were a few years older than me at one point.

J. Job title: Currently unemployed...stay at home mom, graduate student in health information management. Looking for a job though...we recently moved for my husbands career which is why I am unemployed!

K. Kids: Kaitlyn - age 5, and Brianna - age 4

L. Live: Minnesota

M. Mother’s name: Kathy

N. Nickname: I don't really have any! Mommy? Hun? Depends who you are....

O. Overnight hospital stays: 4 days after I had Kaitlyn (emergency c-section under general anesthesia), 2 days after I had Brianna, and 1 after a back surgery when I was 19.

P. Pet peeves:3o year olds who continuously have drama like a 15 year old

Q. Quote from a movie: May the odds be ever in your favor.

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: None by blood, but 2 sister in laws

T. Time it takes you to get ready: Depends on where I'm going...I can get ready in as little as 15 minutes, or if I'm going out somewhere nice or for a special reason, or for an interview, it might take more like an hour. Getting the kids ready at the same time adds a lot of time too :-)

U. Ultimate Vacation:  Australia, Jamaica

V. Vegetable you hate: Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus....typical suspects.

W. What makes you run late: Stubborn, cranky kids

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth...I cant remember what else. Lungs. There have been others....

Y. Yummy food that you make: I make a great Chicken enchilada

Z. Zoo animal: I love all animals!

Scale? What scale?

In all the craziness associated with moving, I have not weighed myself for at least a couple of weeks. I have no clue what I weigh. I would guess that I may have gained a couple of pounds, because I haven't been running except once (my Women Rock 1/2 marathon!). And I've been staying home. However, I tried on my size 6 pants this morning and they still fit about the same as they did when I bought them, so I must be doing okay! I figure even if I'm not finding the time or motivation to actually weigh in, I can always try those on to see what's going on...

I have a job interview tomorrow - so fingers crossed!! A regular job is just what I need to get back into a routine and get my weight loss going again! I don't have much farther to go...less than 10 lbs...so I anticipate it won't be easy!